Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Diary of a Cape Town Commuter : Entry 1



The daily commute from home to one’s workplace is a reality for almost all of us. This journey often brings with it some entertaining stories, overheard scandals, the weirdest thoughts, and random acts of kindness, cruelty and hilarity seen through the window as you pass by your route and occasionally revelations from one’s own inner monologue. We’ve all told a story that started with something like, “you must see what happened on the bus today.” The mode of transportation you choose often becomes almost personified. The bus, train, taxi or car becomes a silent yet active participant in our lives. Often overlooked, but inextricably part of your routine.
I hope that the entries I share will lead to others sharing their experiences. So on we go. Nou ry is gou ry.


Overhead:

There are some people who get so comfortable in their commute that they forget they are sharing the space with complete strangers. This conversation was overhead in a taxi at 17:30pm.
Two women were talking about a friend who had said some terrible things to them both that weekend while intoxicated. From what I heard the list was as follows:
1       They were both accused of being:

1.   "piel diewe” (translation: penis thieves).

2.      Both were said to “think their kak don’t stink” (translation: conceited)

3.      And one was said to have a “ big bek” (translation: gossips)

So as these conceited penis thieves continued their rant about their friend they described her as:

1.      A bigger “piel dief:

2.      A moerse pil skieter (translation: liar)

3.      Permi gesuip (Translation: in a permanent state of inebriation)

4.      And all round “fokol werd” (translation: worth nothing)

My take on this conversation was split into two lines of thinking.
1.      Other people’s reactions to certain key words like “piel dief” revealed something about them. Some laughed and felt some affiliation to the women. Others looked away in disgust and other like me merely listened in amazement at their brazen disregard for the general rules that govern social interactions in public places. Although their language was vulgar I had to admire their confidence in being who they are at all times. Not all of us can say the same.
2.    
  The content of the conversation brought up some funny non-verbal indicators. When the big bek told her friend that she had been called that her body language indicated that she agreed with the drunkard that had laid her with the charge. But her verbal reaction to the information was to say “The fucken nerve!” showing solidarity with her travel mate. To admit that she agreed would not only bring up an obvious confrontation but mean’t that she might also have to admit that the other charges were true and therefore possibly true about her as well. Had the pil skieting, drunkard who was worth nothing brought to the fore some issues that they had not confronted about themselves? And is it always healthy to confront them? After thinking about this I realised that the women weren’t really being who they were but who they thought they were. Whether or not the accusations their friend had hit them with was true or not, the fear that it was had them verbally dodging the issue by laying their own set of accusations on the pil skieter.

Conclusion
When asked the question, “Who are you” one can answer with the simple I am Remo Andrews (well you not Remo, I am, but you know what I mean) but when asked, “Who is Remo Andrews” I’m not sure I have the full answer (Can I get back to you?)
That’s ok though. We don’t have to have the answers. The uncertainty is what makes us human. It’s in the knowing that we are uncertain that real wisdom must surely come from.
I know this was a little bit more serious that most of you expected lol. But this works on the basis on the journey. It therefore shapes the story and not the other way around. I’d like it to open a discussion on your thoughts regarding the above piece.  

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Mike and I: Part 3


Mike and I once came across two chaps having a conversation about a friend of theirs. “That bra loves toet” said one. I was so excited to hear this as I was also a huge fan so I exclaimed, “What a coincidence, I love Toet too!” The two gentleman shook my hand and said “salut bra, that’s the way ya,” Some other chaps that had heard me exclaim my love for Toet also expressed their appreciation.  On our way back home Mike and I were happy to have met some like minded fellows that were also fans of the classic trombone player Charles Toet. We agreed that people who lived in Belhar really loved their

Mike and I : Part 2



Mike and I once heard two fellows having a rather loud altercation. One gentleman told the other “I’ll kick you in your puss bra”. Mike asked me “Why is that fellow threatening to kick that man inside his cat, how would such an action even be possible?” I was just as confused as my friend. “The man being berated must love his cat dearly and the other chap has probably used that information to create some sort of fictitious scenario so as to emphasize his dislike of the man,” I said.  It was at this point that the two gentlemen turned to us and said “Are you taking us for a puss?” I was confused as to why they thought we had likened them to cats and why it would anger them so even if we did. I assured the rather irate men that we had not meant to suggest that they were cats or any member of the feline species for that matter. Two weeks later when Mike and I left the hospital as a result of the beating we received we agreed that we would never again venture into Tafelsig.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Mike and I : Part one


This marks to start of a series called Mike and I. I'm not sure how long it'll be, I;m sort of winging it. Hope you guys enjoy it. 

Part One : Anger Management 


Mike and I once encountered a rather angry gentleman. We asked the chap what it was that vexed him so. He replied “I’m so angry I smaak to hit walls” to which Mike replied “Walls? As in more than one wall? surely one wall would be enough to deal with whatever anger you have to deal with.” Seeing that the young man was clearly confused by Mike’s question, I intervened. “Mike I think this gentleman is referring to the metaphorical walls we all put up to keep each other out.” It was at this point that the distressed youth punched an actual wall. Mike and I agreed that investing in property in Parow would never be profitable as chaps walking around hitting the walls left, right and centre would without a doubt decrease the resale value of any home built in the area.  

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Coloureds explained entry 4:"Dala rot" and "Bets".



Today on coloureds explained we will explore two words that are intrinsically linked. "Dala rot" and "Bets". Bets is when someone is up for a challenge. This could range from agreeing to helping your friend move into his new flat to helping your friend hide the triple homicide he's just committed. A dala rot is said to always be "Bets" but the reference is not generally linked to mere furniture mo
ving. When a dala rot is bets it’s generally for kak aanvang (see last post). Common Dala rot activities include but are not restricted to: hurting himself for others amusement, breaking things for no reason, driving unnecessarily fast, doing everything in excess, fighting with little or no justification (see upcoming post on, "the rol"). They do this for the simple pleasure of hearing people say “You a mal naai ma bru". The older one gets the less impressive the dala rot becomes, when you 14 we call him a dala rot, when you 30 you call him an idiot. Unless you yourself are an idiot then you call him "the ou" (see next post on coloured superlatives).

Coloured's explained, entry 3: "Getuie"



This refers to a good friend. e.g., Michael Michael Shakib Bhatch is my getuie ma bru, tot laat toe papa," translation: "Michael Bhatch is one of my dearest friends till the day I die." Now to many this may seem a bit extreme but calling someone a getuie comes with many responsibilities. He has to join you in all manner of "kak aan vang", lend you money (kyk
a liewe, see entry 2), help you "chys kinnes" (approach girls, see extensive note to be published later for elaboration), the list is extensive. All these supportive acts can be lumped using the verb, getuig. When asked to getuig, an individual is being asked for help or support. This can range from serious issues to the most trivial of requests. e.g. " Ma bru I'm gonna stab this naai, u gonna getuig me?" to I'm going to the shop gou, getuig me?
If the getuie does not comply with the more serious requests he will be denoted to the role of "bang naai" (scared) and will no longer be seen as a getuie. For smaller infractions you can be called a kak thing or fokol werd.